I am super worried about the next generation. Let's back up to see why.
Boomers--your parents told you that you could be anything you wanted; as long as you worked hard. And, you did. Sadly, the large majority of Boomers decided they wanted their children to have it better then they did, so the "as-long-as-you-work-hard" part was dropped. Not all of you did this; my parents didn't, but again, a large majority did.
My generation, Gen Y'ers, are now raising kids. And this is where it gets scary. Why? We're raising a generation of "trophy kids." You participated in something! Awesome! Here's your reward. My daughter was recently in a karate tournament. She "won" three medals. A first, second and third. Am I proud? Yes. Of the first and second place ones. Now, I am not hard on my daughter. I was proud that she showed up and did her best. My issue is the third place trophy--EVERYONE GOT ONE. Seriously. That event had five 3rd places. Perhaps the judges didn't understand "3rd?"
Now, we, as parents, are not solely to blame. Recently, I attended a teacher training on Positive Behavior Intervention System (PBIS). In PBIS teachers are rewarding positive behavior with tangible rewards. Seriously. I am supposed to reward my students for doing homework. For coming to class on time. For staying in their seats. Did I mention I teach high school SENIORS? HONORS LEVEL SENIORS. But, the county has mandated this. If I don't do this, I am punished; written up; whatever.
Isn't the reward for homework a good grade? Isn't coming to school on time something you are supposed to do? When was the last time your boss handed you a reward for being on time? My husband has employees under him. He fires them if they don't follow the rules. The reward for doing what you're supposed to? You get to keep your job.
Why are we not preparing our kids for the future? We are not preparing them to work or to be able to function in life.
What happens when these rewards aren't given in the real world?
I can only imagine...and it's not good.
These kids are going to get a huge wake up call in the real world when they aren't coddled. I rarely hear the phrase "good job" at my work, not because I'm bad at my job, but because if I heard it all the time it would lower my standards........college will provide a little bit of a shock when they discover that professors don't care if they attend class or not.. interesting stuff.
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more! And what are you supposed to do? Tell your kid that 3rd place doesn't really mean anything because they didn't earn it from competition?
ReplyDeleteAlong the same vein, I was just having a conversation with a friend of mine who is trying to decide on whether her child should have an instagram account. The child is ten! Apparently, this said child will be a social pariah if she doesn't allow it. I don't even have kids yet, but I am going to be one mean mommy given the current mainstream conditions.
Children will be ruined for real world problems and circumstances.
p.s. Happy Birthday to you!
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