This seriously may bite me in the a$$

But I'm totally already in.  So I need your prayers.  (Am I up to 7 followers?! Wait. 1 is me.  Don't judge me--I'm THAT good.)

So here's the situation.  I'm working out with my friend.  We'll call her Taylor Swift.  She's not, but I love Taylor Swift, so we'll go with that.

So Taylor, which I just realized is my amazing hair stylist's name, but it's not her either--that's a-crazy-nother story in itself.  Anyway, Taylor Swift mentions to me her child (could be a male or female) told her, "You need to go to the gym with Miss Lindsay so you can get hot and get a man."  A bit later she says that my husband and I are perfect for each other.  She wants to know how we met.  She tells me that all of her guy friends are jerks when it comes to their wives so they definitely can't hook her up with anyone.  You see where this is going, right?

I give the conversation no further thought.  There's no one I know here in NC--we haven't even lived here a year.  Later that night, I'm on facebook.  (I'm not powerless over it, it doesn't make my life unmanageable and I can quit whenever I want. Probably.)  This high school friend of mine posts something and it ends up in my news feed.  It's this bottle huggie thing we made in Econ class in high school.  So, I randomly comment. "Econ?"  (Brilliant. I'm a woman of few words. False.)

I can't stress to you how random this is.  I joined facebook in 2004-ish.  He has never popped up in my news feed. "Like ever," as Taylor Swift would say.  This initial contact wasn't anything special--he said, "do you have yours?" I said, "no."  That was it. Like I said, thought nothing of it.  Until I am watching football and he is facebook commenting on the game.  I'm liking his statuses the same time I am texting Taylor Swift.  (How cool would that be if it was really Taylor Swift?)

Then, it occurs to me.  He's single.  They should meet.  Can we call him Jay Z?  So, first I ask Jay Z if he'd be interested.  Stressing that she will not move to VA.  Her family is here, her job is here and even better, I'm here.  Jay Z doesn't mind.  Nor does he mind the child thing.

Then, I tell Taylor via email I have someone I want her to meet.  The real Taylor would be like, "score! new song material."  BUT, this Taylor Swift doesn't email back.  I'm freaking out.  She's pissed.  She hates me. UH. I'm devastated.  She's this super awesome person--a true southern belle with a heart of solid gold.  I love everything about her.  Well, except she wasn't pulling for the Seahawks that time, but hey, no one's perfect.  I mean I sometimes get mad when she talks about her "best friend in Raleigh," because we could be best friends.  Except I have one too, but the three of us could get that necklace from Claire's --the three way BBF... Anyway...

She's agreed and sounds excited.  So Taylor Swift and Jay Z are going to meet.  I am praying this doesn't blow up in my face.

And also that Beyonce won't find out.